Wednesday, December 17
9:30am

Dear Diary,

I thought that I would be taking care of business by getting a puppy. Clearly, that is what America wants. A First (or Second) Puppy. But of course there are always going to be those who have to stand up and make a scene to get some attention. Heck, I’ve done it myself a few times. I guess I should have seen this coming when I bought the dog from the breeder. It’s just that it’s always been a dream of mine to own a German Shepherd. Jill and I just thought we’d go up there and see the puppies. But I just couldn’t resist when I saw them. After all, I’m only human.

But now I’m getting slammed by PETA and the Humane Society for not buying from an animal shelter. According to PETA Vice President, Daphna Nachminovitch, “By paying money to a dog breeder, the Bidens have in effect signed a death warrant for a loving dog at an animal shelter who would have been thrilled to home with them.” I think the death warrant comment is a little over the top. But, of course, she’s not finished. “Mr. Biden ran for office on a promise of change, but he’s missed the boat by ignoring this country’s animal overpopulation crisis.” Harsh.

It just seems like I can’t win right now. I know the critics are harsh, but I feel like this is getting ridiculous. And who’s to say that I won’t get a cute cat or kitten (or two) from a shelter? My animal-adopting days certainly aren’t over.

Even worse, this is yet another opportunity for the Obamas to get a one-up on me. People are coming out and saying that they expect him to “do the right thing” by adopting a dog from a shelter.  He’ll of course garner public support by adopting the “right” dog. Maybe I should come back with a couple cats from the shelter. That will win over  all the cat-lovers out there.

Until next time,
Joe the Veep

Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Joe Biden